July 2010
A Mother's Driven Spirit
by Craig Springer
I’m standing at the gate of the New Mexico National DWI Victims’ Memorial of Perpetual Tears. Leaning on a brown-stuccoed baluster, the day comes alive in the rapidly changing morning light. A Mexican burrowing owl cuts a horizontal line low to the ground silently through the air, I figure on the way home from an evening of mousing, and I suspect to a waiting dirt-hole nest of still hungry owlets.
This four-acre plot of ground on the prairie in Moriarty is full of ironies; the place memorializes the dead—who died so unnecessarily—and at the hands of people who drank too much alcohol. It is the only memorial in the nation to recognize in this way those victimized by DWI—those hurt by others driving while intoxicated.
Yet, life teems here this morning. A cottontail rabbit scampers about, feeding on the tender forbs that stab through the landscape gravels. A Mexican primrose flower lies prone on the ground. The pinkish white flower and its green leaves are dwarfed by a grayish white metal “tombstone” in a field of markers, knee high, cut with an unusual shape in one corner.
This morning, a gray sky the color of glazier’s putty, yields to a burnt-orange horizon. Orange turns to yellow, and yellow to blue. It’s mornings like this one that can put length in your gait as you walk forward and go on. And at its essence that is what this memorial is about—walking forward, going on, trying to heal those hurts with the hope that the needless death and the physical and emotional injuries that come from drinking and driving can stop.
The victims and perpetrators come from all walks of life. The list of loss is long in New Mexico, and it knows no bounds of class or society or station in life. According to the state transportation department, in the last five years, 856 people have been killed on New Mexico’s roads in alcohol-related crashes. About 40 percent of all crashes resulting in a fatality involve drinking and driving. DWI victims are adults and children. This DWI victims’ memorial has its genesis from the deep sorrow and pain that only a mother could feel at the loss of a child.
Sonja Britton is that mother. She and husband Jerry own a self-storage facility in Moriarty. For over two decades, Sonja operated a beauty shop and has since left that behind. All the while she’s dabbled in art on the side—creating it, that is. She’s an artist, preferring to put oils and acrylics on canvas. She’s good at landscapes, garden scenes, houses—and children.
Sonja and Jerry lost their child to a drunk driver in August 1991. Monty “Butch” Britton died at the hands of a drunk driver in Colorado. He was 30, and he left behind not only his grieving mother, but his wife and son. The tremendous vacancy that his untimely and tragic death left, ultimately motivated Sonja to create the DWI memorial. Sonja says she turned her two years of perpetual crying toward another energy, and founded the Memorial of Perpetual Tears.
After years of work, by 2002, a board of directors was created and had codified its bylaws. It became a non-profit 501c3 charitable organization, and fund raising began shortly after. Donations poured in, in various forms. The 2005 New Mexico state legislators approved $335,000 in Capital Outlay funding for construction of the first phase of the memorial. In the following two years the legislature approved another $628,000 for construction and administration. In this three-year span all designated funding requested was signed by Governor Richardson and sponsored by 10 state senators and 10 state representatives.
The four acres of prime commercial land was donated to the cause by the Anaya family of Moriarty. Others volunteered services and materials, labor and ideas. The City of Albuquerque donated $50,000; $1 million came from the taxpayers of New Mexico. The memorial was adopted so to speak by the town of Moriarty, which kicked in $92,000. Survivors of the Gonzales family of Las Vegas have donated almost $56,000. There is still more to do to bring the memorial to its fullest potential. At its full potential, the memorial can conduct classes on prevention and educate people young and old about the tremendous cost of DWI.
Visiting with Sonja, you can see she is driven, and the sorrow of loss, despite the passing years since son Monty died, is still very palpable. She wants more than anything for the memorial to succeed. She harkens to a saying she remembers from her father. “‘If you stop growing, you start dying. And if you stop wanting, you stop growing.’” A smile appearing on her face punctuates her final point, saying “I’m not going to stop wanting.”
Sonja is clearly grateful for the many people who have helped her build the memorial, and she has a deep sense of ownership in the project—and the very substance of the memorial.
Larry Irvin, owner of Moriarty Pipe and Iron, donated $46,000 worth of materials and labor which include the steel pipe on which the rows of steel plate markers lie in perfect formation reminiscent of the hallowed ground of national cemeteries where deceased members of America’s military rest.
Rob Rayner, who is presently taking exams to be an architect, designed much of the memorial with input from Sonja under the direction of the late Garlan Bryan, architect. The firm did not charge for its services. “Sonja really designed the project or at least had a vision. I took that vision and refined it, phased it, and produced the construction drawing,” says Rayner, who volunteers for the memorial.
Rayner says he was motivated to work on the project because New Mexico has such a significant DWI problem that destroys families. “This memorial not only recognizes the victims, but is also educational,” says Rayner. “You don't realize the numbers of people killed or severely injured until you see the field of markers—and that only represents a five-year period.” Every year, the number of markers is adjusted to reflect the number of deaths. Currently there are 814 markers for the last five years.
As it is with memorials, they are full of symbolism, and this one is no exception, and as Rayner alludes to, the designs were essentially created by Sonja. The “tombstone” markers are made of steel similar to what you find on some vehicles. The brick-red walls purl around three sides of steel tombstones as if to embrace all that lie there. They mirror the red ribbons of the Mothers Against Drunk Driving campaign. Three steel tubes of broken glass with a teardrop cut-out are dedicated to unknown victims. The markers with the unusual shape in the top corner symbolize the corner of the human eye with tears streaming down, mourning the loss of needless death that comes from drinking and driving. The field of markers is not full—it has room for 1,500 steel plates.
A full field is not the goal, however. “I dream big,” says Sonja. “We want this to be a national resource—a national clearing center for deterring and stopping DWI. The memorial can unify all the states together to stop the devastation of DWI.” Her dream just may come true. On May 26, 2010, U.S. Senator Tom Udall and U.S. Representative Martin Heinrich led the delegation’s introduction of legislation to designate the memorial “as the nation’s first and only memorial of its kind.”
The legislation, called “The National DWI Victims Memorial Designation Act of 2010,” would require that any reference to the Moriarty memorial in a law, map, regulation, document, record, or other official paper of the U.S. government refer to the site as the “National DWI Victims Memorial.”
This bright morning is fully awake. It is mornings like these that will cause one to be contemplative. The past is not a preface to tomorrow. Anyone who has lost a loved one tragically will tell you that the past is the very substance of today. Survivors of DWI crime swim in that substance.
For more information on the Memorial of Perpetual Tears call 505-832-4495 or visit online at www.dwimemorialofperpetualtears.org.
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